Wordless Wednesday #5

Check out this blog.

Meet Chris. Such a nice woman, not to mention helpful. I met her on MyBlogLog and she's given me all sorts of help with my Sharpie problems. If you have a dog or two or three or twenty, read her blog! It has all sorts of doggy diet tips and you'll be glad you read it.

The Everyday BS

Downstairs neighbors. I can't stand it anymore- that constant yelling and door slamming. Like they have it so hard.. especially the guy my age. I'll call him Mr. Loudmouth. He may have a slight mental setback, but having ADHD is not a valid reason to act like a retard. He is not a retard. He just needs to grow up and realize that he's getting a free ride and stop complaining about it all. And ENOUGH WITH THAT DOOR ALREADY.



He yells at the older folk..

SLAM!

A few cd's fall off my shelf.

He yells at the dogs..

SLAM!

A few more cd's fall off the shelf.

Yells at the old folk some more..

SLAM! SLAM! SLAM!

There goes the rest of my music collection.



I'm going to lose it if I have to listen to this crap much longer.

How to survive work on a Monday.

Monday, Monday.. I hate you so. Change the words to the annoying music playing over the PA system.

Take several trips to get a drink.

Now drain your bladder after filling it with all that liquid.

Pick your wedgie for the security camera. Or your nose.

Throw things at your fellow coworkers. Then smile innocently when your boss passes by.

Leave things in the way of the Russian cleaning guy's floor buffer. Not purposely, of course.. he's too nice to pick on.

Sing over the PA system.

Smile brightly and bid everyone farewell as you leave early.

Blog Traffic For Dummies

It's simple:

1) Blog about Britney Spears.
2) Blog about Paris Hilton.
3) Blog about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.
4) Blog about blogging.
5) Mention the word "blog" as much as possible.

And there you have it.

The Poo War

This is Sharpie. Cute, right? Smart as a whip, too. Well, as far as dogs go.

But for the past year, I've been dealing with a problem I now call "the poo war".

She's well trained, more than any other dog I know. She can sit, lie down, get my shoes for me, and she knows perfectly well that her toilet is outdoors.

But lately she's been acting out. Leaving her alone is like giving your 5-year-old child full reign of the house. Leaving her on the couch with a toy and the tv on is not enough. She has to go and take a dump in my nice big walk-in closet when I forget to shut her in the living room, as if to say, "Hey Mom! Screw you for leaving me alone like this!" Like taking her out before I leave is not good enough, her poo is too good to waste on that bush outside. It's almost like she's purposely holding in her load and praying for me to leave the living room door open. What a spiteful bitch.

Punishing her has no effect. It only makes her afraid of me for an hour or so, and then she does it again when the next opportunity arises. She's not stupid, she knows it's wrong, but she does it anyway. I'm going to lose my mind if it doesn't stop soon.

How do I break her of this?

Korn concert?

Next month, Korn is playing down in Wilkesbarre, PA.. same place I went for that Tool concert.. and today I've got J looking for some tickets.

The opening acts are HellYeah, Five Finger Deathpunch, and Droid.

Do you have any idea what this means? IT'S GOING TO BE AN AWESOME SHOW! Like.. the show of the year! Thousands of people gathering in one place to see some amazing bands. Beer. Merch stands galore. Afterparties. Pre-show parties in people's vans. Did I mention beer? And LOUD MUSIC. God, I love big concerts.

I'll have to tell my boss not to schedule me October 10th or 11th when I go back to work on Monday. It's going to be another long trip. And I can't wait. More on this later.